Chapter 108

Kim only had to knock once at the door to Jon’s suite and it was ripped open.

“How is she? Is the baby ok?” the words stumbled out of his mouth. Kim smiled.

“She is resting now and everything is fine. The baby calmed down. No worries.” She informed him while entering the huge living room.

“Oh thank God.” Jon sighed and sank down on the couch. Running his hands first trough his hair and then over his slightly pale face. Kim looked at him worried.

“Jon, are you ok?”

“Yeah,…no…I don’t know.” He really wasn’t himself. She sat down next to him.

“Gimme your wrist.” Kim told him.

“Kim, I’m fine.” He only protested lightly when she checked his pulse.

“Jon! Your heart is racing like after your morning training.” She was shocked and surprised at the same time.

“Yeah, not really surprising. Richie would have killed me if something would be wrong with Fran or the baby.” He said dryly.

“Don’t you think you are exaggerating a little?” Kim asked amused.

“No, I don’t!” he stated calm and very serious. She looked at him confused. He wasn’t kidding. He looked all serious.

“Kim, you have no idea what it means to Richie to have another baby. I’m not even sure Fran understands the dimension of this situation.”

“She knows he wanted another child, Jon.” He smiled slightly at her comment.

“Well, the whole world knows he wants another child. But I think you girls don’t understand how bad he really wanted it.” Kim blinked confused at him.

Jon took a deep breath and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He focused on the picture on the opposite wall hoping he would find the right words.

“Kim, since his divorce he was looking for a woman, who would have another child with him. And I know a couple times he’d hoped he found the right one. After Fran got pregnant, he wouldn’t stop talking about it. He already bought baby stuff.” Jon said amused.

Kim grinned. Jon continued more seriously.

“What I mean is that he’s not the normal excited and overjoyed father-to-be. He prayed, he begged, he demanded to have another child. He would have given his right arm to have another child. He would give up everything for it. Maybe not playing guitar, but truly touring with us.”

Kim just stared at him.

“Don’t get me wrong, honey. He adores Ava and loves Jason. And I’m sure sooner or later he will talk with Fran about adopting Jason, so he will be financially secured, but he is not…”

“…is biological son.” Kim finished his sentence. Jon nodded.

“He always wanted a son. And I know he is praying right now that the baby is a boy, even though he will love and spoil another daughter as much as Ava. But after his dad died the feeling grew much stronger. It’s like he needs to know the name Sambora will continue.”

“Wow.” Kim had no idea what else to say.

“Yeah, I had no idea how bad he really wanted another baby until shortly before we got him into rehab.”

Jon got up and walked around in the spacious room unsettled.

“I found him in his house in LA and somehow managed to slowly get the alcohol out of him. He broke down and spilled everything. That the only reason he still has to live is Ava, she is his little angel, that everything else is fucked up, that he will never hold another baby in his arms, that he envies me for having four kids. He was mad and somehow….proud and happy for me at the time. It was the weirdest conversation I  e-v-e-r  had with him…and that means a lot.” He finished dryly.

Kim stared at him. She had no idea that Richie was that down emotionally. Jon sat down next to her again.

“You saw him when Fran told him about the baby. He is high ever since….and if I, with my stupid behaviour, would have caused any damage…he …he would have….” Jon swallowed hard.

“Stop it, ok?” Kim squeezed his hand lightly and Jon took a deep breath.

“Feeling any better?” she asked after a while and checking his pulse again. She was relieved it was slowly going back to normal.

“Yeah. I just want a glass of wine and relax tonight.” He got to his feet and walked over to the bar.

“I don’t think wine is a really good idea right now.” She told him softly when he grabbed the bottle of white wine. His movement stopped and he turned around to her.

“You gotta be kidding me?!” He groaned when she shook her head no. Kim chuckled and slowly got closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She exhaled deeply and forced herself to stay calm when he carefully wrapped his arms around her waist. Her head rested on his chest and she could hear the soft monotone beat of his heart.

“How about we order some food, snuggle up in bed and watch a movie. You need to relax, you have a show tomorrow and a couple more this week.” She asked after a while and raised her head to look at him.

He smiled softly. He’d hoped she would be able to let him closer. He knew he had a lot to make up for. She wouldn’t forget his behaviour that easily. Even though she didn’t mentioned it again after they talked in the afternoon.

“Ok, sounds good.” He whispered and slowly leaned forward to press a short, soft kiss on her lips.

She only tensed lightly and stayed in his arms.