Chapter 40

 

Friday morning Jon picked Kim up at her apartment. After this emotional week with Tyson passing away and his funeral a couple days later, he knew he did the right thing booking a small private hotel for her birthday, where they could totally relax. Kim needed it desperately, he could see that. She was pale, her eyes looked sad all the time and she lost a couple pounds. That’s what worried him the most. She looked so damn fragile.

“When will our plane leave?” Kim asked for the third time since they were in the car on their way to the airport. She was a little nervous and the fact that they were stuck in heavy traffic didn’t help to relax her.

“Don’t worry, honey. It won’t leave without us.” Jon told her calmly and squeezed her hand.

“You still won’t tell me where we are going, right?” she asked.

“Nope.” He grinned and pulled her closer for a kiss. She sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder after they parted. He’d been her rock during the last week. Without him she would probably still be laying on the couch crying.

She turned her head lightly and watched him for a second. His blue eyes sparkled happily and there was a soft smile on his face. He was really excited having her for his own for the next couple days.

He looked down at her and his smile grew bigger when he saw her checking him out.

“What?” he asked.

“I love you.” Kim whispered softly.

“I love you too, honey.” Jon said and leaned down to kiss her deeply.

About half an hour later they were stopping at the airport. When Kim exited the car she realized that they were in front of a private plane. Surprised she looked at Jon.

“You booked a private plane? I thought we were flying commercial.”

“There’s no direct flight from New York to where we are going…” he wrapped his arm around her waist and continued. “…and I wanted to give you the chance to move around in the plane when you need to.”

He’d thought about it for a long time. First he wanted to book a commercial flight, her parents crashed with their private plane after all and he wasn’t sure Kim would feel comfortable on such a plane.

Then he realized that when she would really panic, they wouldn’t be able to just go down at the next airport. With a private plane it could be done much easier, besides he already had a tactic to distract Kim and that wasn’t something he wanted to do in public.

Kim just stared at the plane. Her mind went completely blank, the only thought left was: My parents died in such a thing.

She couldn’t control herself. She was trembling already and her breathing sped up. Jon watched her carefully, he really hoped he would get her on the plane.

While their luggage was loaded, the pilot came out to greet them.

“Good Morning, Mr. Bon Jovi.”

“Hi Greg, good to see you again.” Jon shook his hand. “This is Miss Anderson.”

After Greg and Kim greeted each other, Jon turned to her. “Greg is flying me around for about 10 years now, Kimi and nothing ever went wrong.”

He shot Greg a look, who nodded agreeing. They both decided they wouldn’t tell her about the band’s incident during the landing in Toronto. No need to make her more nervous.

“That’s right. And today will also be a calm flight. We have clear skies on our route, no turbulences are expected. It will be a smooth ride.” Greg assured her.

Kim nodded with a forced smile. “That’s great. Are you guys ready? Should we get on board?” She wanted to stay as long outside as possible.

“Yeah, the luggage is loaded. Everything else is checked. We can take off when you are ready.” Greg told her with a smile.

“Shall we?” Jon asked her and pointed at the door. She took a deep breath and nodded. With a dead grip on his hand she entered the plane.

“Wanna sit at the window?” Jon asked her.

“NO!” Kim nearly screamed. He looked at her worried. She closed her eyes and tried to control the panic that was rising in her.

“I’m sorry, Jon…I’m just…nervous…that’s all.” he nodded and pulled her down to sit next to him. Maybe it would have been a good idea to give her some tranquilizer, but she didn’t wanna take some. Now he thought maybe he should have been more persisted about it.

Gently he leaned over and closed the seatbelt for her, before putting his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close to him.

“You’ll see everything will be just fine.” He tried to calm her.

“Yeah….how long will we fly?” she asked biting nervously at her lower lip.

“Not that long , don’t worry honey.” He lied. They would be in the air for approximately five hours, but she would go crazy when he told her now.

Slowly the plane was rolling to the runaway. When the engines howled with full power for the take-off, Kim was close to jump up and get off the plane.

“Why don’t you focus on me, honey.” Jon whispered low in her ear and let his fingers ran over her body, before kissing her passionate. Kim gasped surprised, but after several seconds she relaxed into his touch and let him press her deeper into the seat. Or maybe it was the take-off?

She moaned into his mouth, when he teased her nipples through the thin fabric of her shirt. Her whole body was simmering in excitement and she cursed herself for not wearing a skirt, but some light summer trousers.

When they finally parted, the take-off was long over and they were flying smoothly in the clear blue sky.  He grinned at her surprised face. His plan had worked, she totally forgot where she was.

“Some champagne, honey?” he asked innocently.

She stared at him for a second. “You are good…really good at this, Mister.”

“Oh, you have no idea how good I really am, honey.” He told her in a husky voice and handed her the glass.

Chapter 39

In the afternoon Jon really worried about Kim. Twice he’d knocked on her office door, but she told him to leave her alone. Unwilling he followed her plead, but barely couldn’t control himself when he heard her crying.

Finally he grabbed his phone and dialled Fran’s number. Maybe she could tell him how to deal with Kim. To his surprise Richie answered the phone.

“Rich? I thought you are in LA?”

“Hi brother. Well, I was, but my little princess was so curious about Fran and Jason that she begged me to fly back with her. We arrived Saturday morning.”

“How did the first meeting go?” Jon asked with a little smile on his face. Ava could be very demanding and most of the times Rich wasn’t able to deny her something.

“It went really well. She likes Fran…told me that she is happy I’m smiling and laughing again. I wasn’t that grumpy right?”

“Well, not exactly grumpy, but your eyes weren’t shining, buddy.” Jon told him. “What about Jason?”

“Oh, it seems they were separated by birth….unbelievable when you watch them. And Jason told me, he would look out for his hot new sister…I’m not sure whether I should be worried or happy about that comment.” Richie admitted.

Jon laughed. “You are screwed man, you are screwed.”

“Yeah, I know. So how is Kim doing?” Richie asked.

“She is crying in her office and don’t want me around.”

“Ahhh, shit…I’m sorry brother. Fran is sad too, but she is here with me….wait, she wants to talk to you.” Richie handed Fran the phone and gave her a soft kiss on her left cheek. Her eyes were all red from crying about Tyson. She would never get used to losing one of the kids and seeing the black despair of the parents. Never in a million years.

“I check on the kids.” He told her.

“Ok…” she said sniffing and turned her attention to the phone. “Jon?”

“Hi Fran.” Jon greeted her warmly.

“Don’t let her push you away, Jon.” Fran told him in a strict voice.

“She locked herself in her office, I can’t get close to her.” Jon said frustrated. “Is she always like that when she is losing a patient.

“Honestly, I don’t know.” Fran admitted.

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“Well, it only happened twice so far and both times Kim didn’t show any emotion at the hospital. She thinks it is her duty to keep it together for the family. I tried to talk with her afterwards, but she simply took one day off and didn’t answer my calls. I’m only guessing here, but she probably cried her eyes out during these days.”

Jon couldn’t believe his ears. “She didn’t even show any emotions to you? I don’t understand it.”

“Maybe I do.” Fran said thoughtful.

“I remember one incident when we just met at school. She fell down some stairs and hit her knee, it was bleeding and looked rather nasty. They figured out later, she even had a torn ligament. So it hurt like hell. But she didn’t cry. She told me with clenched teeth ‘My dad said I should not cry. Tears won’t bring you anywhere.’”

Jon had no idea what to say. It was the first time that the picture of her father was getting some cracks. How could you tell your daughter something like this?

“Don’t get me wrong, Jon. She loved her father, she adored him. Everything she did in her life was to make him proud, to be like him. His work ethics had already influenced her when we met. I never met someone who was more disciplined and perfectionistic.” Fran paused shortly.

“Her mother was the counterpart, she did everything to make Kim see that there’s a little fun in everything. She showed her music and theatre. We went to the museum with her very often.” Fran remembered with a little smile on her face.

“I know that today Kim allows herself to cry when she is alone with you, that’s HUGE for her…” she stressed the word. “…but some tears is surely a difference to the outburst she’ll have today. Loosing someone simply hits her hard. If it’s anything close to it how it was three years ago. It will be very difficult for her…also physically.”

“And what should I do now?” Jon whispered with a lump in his throat.

“Are the dogs with her?” Fran asked. Jon looked around and realized he hadn’t seen them since Kim came home.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Then the patio doors to her office are open. Go to her and don’t let her bully you away.” She told him softly.

“Ok, I’ll try it again. Thanks Fran.”

“You are welcome, Jon.”

Jon put his phone on the table and took a deep breath before going out on the patio. Fran was right the doors to her office were wide open.  Slowly he entered her office and stopped dead when he saw her curled up on that small couch, pressing a pillow to her chest and trembling from the sobs. It was heart-breaking.

He crossed the room and kneeled down in front of her. Sambo and Kidd raised their heads shortly and walked out of the way. It was as if they waited for him to come to her.

Gently he swept her hair out of her face and placed a small kiss on her cheek. She opened her eyes and stared at him.

“Go away.” She mumbled and hid her face in the pillow.

“No.” he answered.

“What?” she looked at him again.

“I said: No.” he repeated calmly.

“Jon, I really don’t wanna argue with you about this.” Kim said and sat up slowly.

“Good, I don’t wanna argue with you either.” He sat down next to her and continued. “We are together Kimi. I love you. You are suffering and I wanna comfort you. You would do the same for me.”

She stared at him unable to say a word. He ran his hand gently over her cheek.

“It’s no weakness to cry, to be sad. It’s human. I can understand that you don’t wanna show these emotions to strangers, but ….hey, it’s me.” He stopped shortly, but she was still staring at him, so he continued.

“There’s one place you can always show all of your emotions and that’s inside your family. And I think I’m the closest thing to family you have, besides Fran and Jason.” She nodded sniffing.

“You talked to Fran, right?”

“Yes.” He simply answered.

“She told you about Dad.” He nodded. “She never liked him.” Kim added a bit bitter.

“Kimi…I don’t think that’s true … and to a certain extent your dad was right: tears don’t bring you anywhere out there in the business world, but I’m not your business partner…I’m your friend, your partner, your lover.” He pointed out and took her hands in his. She nodded with tears in her eyes.

“It’s so unfair, Jon.” She sobbed and took refuge in his embrace. He kissed her temple and wrapped his arms tightly around her.

“I know, honey, I know.”

Chapter 38

Sighing deeply Kim opened the door to her apartment. She had been over at the hospital to check on Tyson. Unfortunately shortly after she arrived the boy passed away.

She put her keys and purse on the small table next to the door and stared at her reflection in the mirror. It had been a while since she looked that pale and her red eyes weren’t helping either.

Walking into the living area she saw Jon standing behind the kitchen counter. She smiled softly. He wanted to cook for her today. Whether she would survive that was another thing.

“Hi honey, you are already back?” Jon greeted her. She forced a smile on her face.

“Yeah.”

“You ok, Kimi?” a little concerned he walked closer to her.

“I’m fine.” She told him and bent down to pet Sambo’s head. Patiently Jon waited until she straightened up again.

“What happened?” his blue eyes weren’t leaving hers.

She bit her bottom lip and stared at the sky through the open patio doors. She couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud. Her last bit of control would break; she knew it and she didn’t wanna show those emotions to him. She didn’t wanna show him how vulnerable she could be.

“Kimi?” Jon’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

If you can’t handle depending on someone, you will never be able to be in a relationship!

Fran’s advice echoed through her mind. She sighed. He told you he loves you, he said he would protect you.

Jon really started to worry. Her inner debates were always hard for him, because he still hadn’t figured out how to really read her and somehow he doubted that he would ever be able to do so. But right now, he was sure something was really eating on her, it already affected her looks. She was so pale and he could swear she had been crying.

“Tyson passed away.” She suddenly whispered.

“Oh, honey I’m so sorry.” Jon pulled her in his embrace. She trembled, but didn’t start to cry as he expected. He watched her carefully.

“Kim, I’m sure you did everything you could.” He told her softly. She turned to face him and to his surprise he could see anger in her eyes.

“I didn’t do enough, I didn’t do my job…he’s dead!” she yelled

Jon held his hands up defending. “Kim…” but she didn’t let him interrupt her.

“I swore an oath. I swore to heal people and not let them die!”

He could see the frustration in her eyes now. He didn’t have to tell her that in some cases doctors were still limited in their help. For some diseases nobody had a cure, she knew it and she hated it.

“Kim…” he tried again, but she stopped him.

“I don’t wanna talk about it. I just wanna be alone now…sorry about the lunch.” She said and vanished into her office.

Jon let his head fall into his neck and stared at the ceiling for a minute. It was normal that she was emotionally about the boy’s death. She took care of him for so long. Why couldn’t she let herself go?

He walked back to the kitchen and put the meat and vegetables back into the fridge. One day everything was fine and the next day the whole world crashes. He was sure Tyson’s family was just a normal family before he got diagnosed. Heavily he put the pot back on the counter top.

Just a normal family! Just like his! He grabbed his phone and hit the speed dial.

“Hi Jon.” Dot answered.

“Hi Dot! Uhm…how are you doing? Everything ok with the kids?” he tried to keep his voice normal, but Dot paused irritated.

“Yeah, everything is fine. They are at school right now.” She told him. Why was he worried?

“Oh, yeah…right.” Of course they were it school it was only noon! He could kick himself.

“Jon, what’s wrong?”

“Uhm, nothing…I just…uhm, I just realized, well the kids had their annual check-up two weeks ago. We never talked about it. Is everything ok?” he rolled his eyes about his stuttering.

“Yes, they are all ok. You know I would tell you immediately when something would be wrong, Jon.” Dot said even more irritated.

“Yeah, yeah…sure...I know…” He agreed and nervously pushed some of the dog biscuits around on the kitchen counter. Dot paused for an explanation, but he didn’t say anything more. She sighed.

“Jon, is everything ok with you and Kimberly?” She was just guessing. But something was definitely worrying Jon.

“Yes...no…I mean, we are fine…it’s just…uhm…” he couldn’t believe that he was stuttering again.

“Jesus, Jon! Just say it out loud!” she told him. He took a deep breath.

“One of her patients, a nine year old boy just passed away of cancer. Everything was normal until they figured out one day and I …I…I guess I need to know they are ok.” He finally admitted.

“Oh, Jon I’m sorry. They are fine, really!” Dot told him softly. “How is Kimberly handling it?”

“Well, honestly I think not so well, but she told me she wants to be alone.” He grumbled.

Dot clearly heard the frustration in his voice. He didn’t like to be pushed away. He needed to comfort the ones he loved. Just standing there and doing nothing was extremely hard for him.

“Give her some time and maybe when you go to her in a little while again, she’ll be fine with it.” Dot suggested.

“You think so?” her ex-husband asked sceptical.

“Yes, Jon.” Dot simply answered. She had no idea if Kimberly would be fine later, but Jon would go crazy if he couldn’t focus on a solution to his problem. He sighed.

“Ok…sorry about this little weird call.” He said chuckling.

Dot grinned. “That’s ok Jon. I’m used to that.”

“Ha Ha, very funny!” He said pouting a little. She laughed.

“Bye Jon.”

“Bye Dot. Give the kids a hug from me.”

Chapter 37

Kim watched smiling how Jon and the boys chased each other for the football over the lawn in Central Park. Steph and her were sitting under a huge oak tree the dogs by their sides. After a delicious picnic with sandwiches, fruits, cake and cookies they weren’t really in the mood to run around with the boys. Sambo and Kidd seemed to appreciate the break as well and even though Jake tried everything to lure his new friends into the game the dogs didn’t move.

“I still can’t believe that you get him to agree to it.” Steph said laying relaxing against the huge trunk of the tree. Kim turned her head and grinned.

“He needed just a little re-assurance that you’ll always be his little girl.” Steph rolled her eyes. Kim shook her head smiling.

“I know you don’t wanna hear it, but it’s very important too him…you are his only girl, you are special.”

Steph stared at her for a second. “Yeah, I know.” She answered a little embarrassed.

“Believe me, when you all of a sudden no longer hear it, you miss it like hell…and him.” Kim bit her lip and stared at the grass to her feet.

“You miss your dad right?” Steph asked tentatively.

“Yeah, and my mom too. You can be really happy that you still have your parents and that they are still friends. There are so many things I wanna tell mine…and I can’t.” Kim whispered.

“WATCH OUT!” Jon yelled just seconds before the football crashed to the ground right between them. The dogs jumped up and barked immediately. Kim and Steph screamed surprised.

“Sorry, girls…you ok?” Jon asked after jogging towards them and picking up the ball.

“Can’t you watch out where you throw that thing?” Kim asked with a little anger. Her dogs only calmed down slowly not sure whether to attack that damn brown thing or not.

“Sorry, honey.” He gave her his best smile and bent down to place a soft kiss on her lips. She glared at him after they parted.

“You think that will always save you, huh?” He chuckled.

“Well, I can try it, right?” he teased.

“Don’t worry, Kim. In a couple months you’ll be able to resist even his charm.” Steph said dryly.

“Be quite!” Jon told her laughing and put his hand over her mouth.” Steph laughed and tried to free herself again.

“And the next step will be staying mad when he is singing the heartbreaking love songs.” She giggled when her father pulled her in his arms and tried to put both hands over her mouth.

“Stop spilling all my secrets!”

“Let her go, Jon. I already know those secrets.” Kim said laughing. Jon looked at her surprised.

“Really?”

“Yep, you always forget that Fran is a huge fan of you and the band. She bombed me with videos; I had to watch and told me all your tricks.” Kim chuckled about Jon’s shocked face.

“She even told me I really have to buy your albums now.”

“You don’t have his albums?” Steph wondered and pushed Jon lightly away from her to sit up again.

“Well, I have this ‘Best of album’ from what was it ’94?….Actually Fran gave it to me for my birthday.” Kim admitted.

“I don’t believe it.” Jon muttered.

Steph grinned. “Ego problem now, dad?”

“Don’t be so damn feisty, Missy!” Jon glared at her.

“Awww, don’t worry baby…I will work my way through your songs…maybe I’ll find something I like.” Kim put her arms around his neck and grinned at him mischievous.

“MAYBE!” He pulled back from her and stared at her. She grinned.

“...Oh, you two are really…that’s unbelievable…Maybe…Hmpf!...” Jon grabbed the football and stormed back to his boys, pouting like a little school boy himself. Kim and Steph erupted in laughter.

“You were right; he’s so damn funny when he’s huffy.” Kim told Steph and the two girls leaned back against the tree and tried to get themselves under control again.

Just when they’d calmed down again, they heard a muffled scream. Steph was at her feet immediately.

“JAKE!!” She screamed. Kim ran with her to the boy, who landed right on his face and slipped across the grass when he tried to catch the football. Jon helped him sat up carefully.

“You ok, buddy?” he asked worried and looked a little helpless at Kim. Normally he’d expected him to cry.

“Hmm.” Jake only nodded.

“Jake…” Kim gently ran her hand over his head. The abrasion on the right side of his face didn’t look dangerous. It only needed to be cleaned. Suddenly Jake and turned his head and grimaced before spitting out some dirt.

“Geeh, did you try to eat the grass?” Jesse asked in disgust. Jon just glared at him and his son shut up.

“How about you rinse your mouth with some water.” Kim said sympathetically. He only nodded and they all walked back to the tree. Kim handed him a bottle of water and Jake made sure every bit of sand and dirt was gone.

“Better?” Kim asked.

“Yeah, but my face burns…” the boy answered and tried to touch his cheek.

“Stop.” Kim got a hold of his dirty hand. “Don’t bring more dirt into the wound. We will clean it and then the burning will stop. You’ll see.” She winked at him.

“So, we better get back to your place, right?” Jon asked while sitting down next to Jake and checking his cheek himself.

“I have a first aid set here…we can stay, if Jake is feeling ok.” She said and took the small kit from her bag.

“Always prepared, huh?” Jon said smiling.

“Yeah, nothing worse for a doctor not being able to help, because the basic necessities are missing.” Kim explained and carefully cleaned Jake’s face. The boy didn’t pull back once.

“Better now, Jake?” she asked after applying a cooling wound spray to prevent infections.

“Yeah, it doesn’t burn that much anymore.” He replied and leaned back against his father. Jon scanned Jake’s face and shook his head.

“Oh boy…what will your mom say when she sees you…you look like someone beat you up.” Jake grinned and touched the still present bruise on his forehead from the doorframe.

“I told you a doctor is more then welcome in this family.” Steph said dryly.

“Oh, shut up!” Jesse said and pulled at her long hair.

“Ouch…stop it you idiot!” Steph jumped to her feet.

“Hey, hey, hey…what the hell got into you Jesse? You know I don’t like it when you hurt each other and use that language!” Jon stood up as well.

What was wrong with his son? Verbal attacks between his two oldest were normal, but pulling Steph’s hair…well, that didn’t happen in a really long time.

Jesse looked at his father sullen. He didn’t wanna pull Steph’s hair, but her comment made him so damn angry. But why?

Kim watched that scene and realized Jesse was rather unsettled. He was pulling at his fingers constantly and she was sure it was not only because of Jon’s anger.

“Jesse, when was the last time you smoked?” she asked. Jon and Steph looked at her surprised.

“Uhm…on your patio…when we talked.”

Kim checked her watch. “So a little bit over five hours ago…he is having withdrawal syndromes.” She told Jon.

“You gotta be kidding? He only smoked a couple cigarettes a day.” Jon said shocked.

“Well, that’s enough to cause the syndrome. His body is craving for the nicotine and that’s makes him unsettled, aggressive and let me guess Jesse…hungry?”

“Yeah.” The boy nodded.

“Wow….and what can he do against it?” Steph asked a little worried. Jesse looked at her surprised.

“What? Do you think I want you in that mood forever? You are already annoying when you ain’t craving for cigarettes.” She told him. Jesse stared back at her and you could see a small smile on his lips. Steph chuckled.

“Don’t kid yourself.” she said.

Kim looked at Jon confused, who had a grin on his face as well. “I think I’m missing something here.” He laughed and leaned down to her.

“Their way of telling each other ‘I love you’.” He whispered so only she could hear it. Kim shook her head. These kids were really unbelievable.

“So, what can I do?” Jesse asked moving from one foot to another.

“Oh, yeah…well, you can take one of these…” she gave Jesse a package with nicotine gums. “…just when you can’t handle the craving anymore!” she told him strictly. He nodded.

“And very often it helps when you do sports.”

“Thank God.” Jon said relieved. He already thought his whole crew needed a pre-warning when he would stop smoking completely.