Chapter 38

Sighing deeply Kim opened the door to her apartment. She had been over at the hospital to check on Tyson. Unfortunately shortly after she arrived the boy passed away.

She put her keys and purse on the small table next to the door and stared at her reflection in the mirror. It had been a while since she looked that pale and her red eyes weren’t helping either.

Walking into the living area she saw Jon standing behind the kitchen counter. She smiled softly. He wanted to cook for her today. Whether she would survive that was another thing.

“Hi honey, you are already back?” Jon greeted her. She forced a smile on her face.

“Yeah.”

“You ok, Kimi?” a little concerned he walked closer to her.

“I’m fine.” She told him and bent down to pet Sambo’s head. Patiently Jon waited until she straightened up again.

“What happened?” his blue eyes weren’t leaving hers.

She bit her bottom lip and stared at the sky through the open patio doors. She couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud. Her last bit of control would break; she knew it and she didn’t wanna show those emotions to him. She didn’t wanna show him how vulnerable she could be.

“Kimi?” Jon’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

If you can’t handle depending on someone, you will never be able to be in a relationship!

Fran’s advice echoed through her mind. She sighed. He told you he loves you, he said he would protect you.

Jon really started to worry. Her inner debates were always hard for him, because he still hadn’t figured out how to really read her and somehow he doubted that he would ever be able to do so. But right now, he was sure something was really eating on her, it already affected her looks. She was so pale and he could swear she had been crying.

“Tyson passed away.” She suddenly whispered.

“Oh, honey I’m so sorry.” Jon pulled her in his embrace. She trembled, but didn’t start to cry as he expected. He watched her carefully.

“Kim, I’m sure you did everything you could.” He told her softly. She turned to face him and to his surprise he could see anger in her eyes.

“I didn’t do enough, I didn’t do my job…he’s dead!” she yelled

Jon held his hands up defending. “Kim…” but she didn’t let him interrupt her.

“I swore an oath. I swore to heal people and not let them die!”

He could see the frustration in her eyes now. He didn’t have to tell her that in some cases doctors were still limited in their help. For some diseases nobody had a cure, she knew it and she hated it.

“Kim…” he tried again, but she stopped him.

“I don’t wanna talk about it. I just wanna be alone now…sorry about the lunch.” She said and vanished into her office.

Jon let his head fall into his neck and stared at the ceiling for a minute. It was normal that she was emotionally about the boy’s death. She took care of him for so long. Why couldn’t she let herself go?

He walked back to the kitchen and put the meat and vegetables back into the fridge. One day everything was fine and the next day the whole world crashes. He was sure Tyson’s family was just a normal family before he got diagnosed. Heavily he put the pot back on the counter top.

Just a normal family! Just like his! He grabbed his phone and hit the speed dial.

“Hi Jon.” Dot answered.

“Hi Dot! Uhm…how are you doing? Everything ok with the kids?” he tried to keep his voice normal, but Dot paused irritated.

“Yeah, everything is fine. They are at school right now.” She told him. Why was he worried?

“Oh, yeah…right.” Of course they were it school it was only noon! He could kick himself.

“Jon, what’s wrong?”

“Uhm, nothing…I just…uhm, I just realized, well the kids had their annual check-up two weeks ago. We never talked about it. Is everything ok?” he rolled his eyes about his stuttering.

“Yes, they are all ok. You know I would tell you immediately when something would be wrong, Jon.” Dot said even more irritated.

“Yeah, yeah…sure...I know…” He agreed and nervously pushed some of the dog biscuits around on the kitchen counter. Dot paused for an explanation, but he didn’t say anything more. She sighed.

“Jon, is everything ok with you and Kimberly?” She was just guessing. But something was definitely worrying Jon.

“Yes...no…I mean, we are fine…it’s just…uhm…” he couldn’t believe that he was stuttering again.

“Jesus, Jon! Just say it out loud!” she told him. He took a deep breath.

“One of her patients, a nine year old boy just passed away of cancer. Everything was normal until they figured out one day and I …I…I guess I need to know they are ok.” He finally admitted.

“Oh, Jon I’m sorry. They are fine, really!” Dot told him softly. “How is Kimberly handling it?”

“Well, honestly I think not so well, but she told me she wants to be alone.” He grumbled.

Dot clearly heard the frustration in his voice. He didn’t like to be pushed away. He needed to comfort the ones he loved. Just standing there and doing nothing was extremely hard for him.

“Give her some time and maybe when you go to her in a little while again, she’ll be fine with it.” Dot suggested.

“You think so?” her ex-husband asked sceptical.

“Yes, Jon.” Dot simply answered. She had no idea if Kimberly would be fine later, but Jon would go crazy if he couldn’t focus on a solution to his problem. He sighed.

“Ok…sorry about this little weird call.” He said chuckling.

Dot grinned. “That’s ok Jon. I’m used to that.”

“Ha Ha, very funny!” He said pouting a little. She laughed.

“Bye Jon.”

“Bye Dot. Give the kids a hug from me.”