Chapter 92

As quiet as possible Jon entered Kim’s office. She was lying on the small couch and her two furry friends were sitting in front of her watching her restless sleep.

She took a long shower after the police officers and Lloyd had left. Jon managed to get her to eat at least half of a sandwich before she sought shelter in her office. He sighed and carefully stepped closer to her.

When he grabbed the blanket that lie at her feet to cover her, she jerked away and her eyes flew open. In a split of a second she was sitting and pulling away from him.

“Shhh, honey….it’s only me.” He tried to calm her.

“Yeah.” She whispered and grabbed the blanket to clutch it nervously to her chest. Jon slowly sat down on the couch without moving too close to her.

“How about we go to bed. It’s already late.” He suggested softly. She shook her head no.

“Why not Kimi?”

“I….I don’t feel like going upstairs.” She couldn’t find a real excuse.

“Kimi,…” Jon wanted to start, but she stopped him.

“Jon, please…” he could barely hear her shaky voice and when tears slid down her pale cheeks, he had to use all his control to not punch something. He wished he could get close to this bastard and beat the shit out of him.

Jon took a deep breath and glided of the couch to kneel in front of her. Slowly he reached for her hand, but stopped inches before grabbing it. He looked up and searched her eyes. Kim exhaled deeply before putting her hand in his.

She had no idea why she wasn’t able to let him close to her. Hours ago, she threw herself sobbing into his arms and let him carry her, but now she needed distance.

He let out a breath, he didn’t know he was holding when she reluctantly put her small hand in his. It was shaking lightly and felt cold.

“Kimi, you know I could never hurt you.”

She nodded and started to sob lightly.

“I know that Jon,…I know that,…but I’m scared, the more I think about it…I get more scared…” her body started to shake uncontrollable and she pulled her hands to her face. Jon swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat and carefully wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close.

At first she stiffed, but after a few seconds and some reassuring words from Jon later, she started to relax a little.

“How about the dogs come upstairs with us?” Jon asked after Kim had calmed down again and was getting heavy in his arms.

“But they ain’t allowed upstairs.” She said in a small voice. Jon smiled softly. His little control freak.

“I think today calls for an exception.”

“Yeah, maybe you are right.” Kim whispered and tried to get to her feet unsuccessfully.

“Come here, honey. I’ll carry you upstairs.” Jon offered and opened his arms. Kim only nodded and tried not to freak out when he was picking her up and started his way to the stairs. Deep in the back of her mind she knew that it would only get worse if she would push him away right now. She needed to trust him or she would never be able to trust a man again.

When they reached the stairs her dogs stopped and watched Jon carefully walking upstairs with Kim in his arms.

“Come on boys, Kidd, Sambo…come here.” Jon called them from the upper level. The dogs cocked their heads confused.

“It’s ok…come here…she needs you tonight. Come on boys.” He tried to lure them upstairs, but they only took one step and stopped.

“Kidd, Sambo…COME HERE!” Kim’s voice echoed through the apartment and without any kinda hesitation the dogs rushed upstairs straight into the bedroom.

“And I thought they were finally listening to me.” Jon mumbled to himself and entered the bedroom.

“Could you get me an extra blanket?” Kim asked and pointed at the closet.

“Sure, honey.” Jon grabbed the blanket and covered her with it before rounding the bed. After stripping off his clothes, he slipped under the covers and turned off the lights.

Slowly he moved closer to Kim, who seemed to be lying right on the edge of their huge bed. He slipped his arms around her and pulled her softly against his body. Her breathing sped up.

“Ok, Kimi?” he asked into the darkness.

“Yeah.” She whispered, but he wasn’t convinced.

“You are not, Kim.” He said and released her to turn on the lights again. She sat up in the bed.

“Well, I’m sorry Jon. It’s not that easy for me right now.” She told him with anger in her voice. He looked at her surprised.

“I’m sorry.” He stuttered. She sighed.

“No, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to snap at you.” She ran her hand frustrated through her blond hair a couple times.

“I can’t explain it, Jon. On the one hand I want you to hold me, because it comforts me, but on the other hand any kinda physical contact scares me right now…and I know you won’t do anything….God, I’m a mess and nothing really happened.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa…nothing happened? ….Kimi,….you got attacked in the darkness, that guy pulled a knife on you and tried to rape you, there was shooting and police cars…a lot happened tonight. Yeah, you are a mess right now…and you are totally entitled to be one. But honey…”

Jon softly let his hand touch her face to make sure she would look at him.

“…don’t let him haunt you. It was scary, it was a nightmare…but you won! You fought, you hurt him and you won! Don’t hide in fear! Be proud of yourself that you managed to fight your biggest fear and move when it was necessary!”

Kim nodded and started sobbing again, but this time she didn’t pull back or stiffened when Jon wrapped his arms around her. He sighed relieved, but knew at the same time that it would take quite a while before things would be back to normal.