Note from the author

Hi everyone,

you probably already guessed it, because of the lack of posting, but this story is on hiatus right now.

I have too much stuff to do in real life and it got me so stressed that I'm battling a rather bad cold for more than 10 days already. My doc wondered what was going on and I told him about my work in the law firm, prep-classes for me second state exam, writing five hour training tests once a week, my obligatory study group with a rather intolerant judge, who gives tons of homework and ... of course hitting the books every free minute, because there is this little voice in the back of my mind that's telling me that I need to pass my exam in march with the highest grade possible, because I do not have 500 Euro to pay for a second (and last) try.

So, my doc told me I need to reduce the stress....unfortunately that includes stopping my writing (even though my lead characters don't like it and constantly 'talk' to me). It's not that I don't have any chapters, but I need to write several 'fill'-chapters to develop my story and that takes much more time than only writing one chapter after another.

All I can tell you is that there will be more chapters to come and we still have a long way to go and fight some battles until we reach the end.

Maybe I will be able to post a new chapter from time to time, but it will no longer happen in such a continuous way like in the past months.

New posts will be announced via twitter and on the T's board.


~ Kris ~

Chapter 107

They had been laying together on the bed for hours and talked. At least it felt like that. Jon held her gently and Kim was finally able to relax a bit, when there was a hard knock at the door.

“Would you go?” Kim asked with a little sigh.

“Sure, hon.” Jon kissed her cheek softly and got up to open the door.

“YOU!”

“Fran…hi…how was….” Jon greeted her, but was interrupted by a rather hard hit against his chest.

“What the…?” Jon took several steps back into the room.

“YOU…YOU…” Fran’s face showed nothing but anger when she followed him into the room.

“Darling…wait…” you could hear Richie’s voice coming from the hallway when Fran tried to hit Jon another time. This time he was able to cover his chest with his arms.

“Fran stop it.” Richie lead against the doorframe and tried to catch his breath.

“Dammit, Fran…stop it…” Jon cursed when she stepped forward and hit him again. She was furious there was no doubt and he was pretty sure the hormones were adding to her anger.

“She is so damn fast…” Richie mumbled and tried to pull his wife away from Jon, but as soon as he touched her arm, he earned a very hard push and stumbled backwards.

“YOU…YOU….HOW COULD YOU?” she just wouldn’t stop.

Kim took a deep breath and stepped between Jon and Fran. She knew her best friend would never hit her.

“Fran stop it.” She told her calmly.

“What are you doing? He’s an asshole.”

“He was. Yes. But we talked…”

“So Blondie apologized and everything is fine….no way!” she tried to get to Jon again. He ducked and tried to stay behind Kimberly.

“FRAN, IT’S ENOUGH!” Kim’s voice was hard.

“This is none of your business anymore. I wouldn’t interfere when you and Richie have a bad fight either. So stop it.” Fran swallowed and looked at her with narrowed eyes. The men held their breath.

“Ok.” Fran agreed, but shot Jon one last angry look. It was clear he would have to work hard to get her trust back.

“Good…so, how was your sightseeing tour …” Kim was looking for a way to get out of this uncomfortable situation.

“Nice….I….Ouch…” Fran suddenly whispered and covered her belly with her hands.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” his worry was clear in Richie’s voice.

“I don’t…owwww!” she gasped for air.

“Rich, help me to get her on the bed. Jon, get my bag.” Kim started to take control.

Jon watched them helping Fran to lay down. Her face showed pain and concern. He knew if this whole situation caused any damage to Fran or the baby, he could just walk up to the top of the building and jump down. Rich would kill him anyway.

“Jon, my bag!” Kim’s voice let him snap out of his thoughts and he hurried over to her suitcase and grabbed a small black bag.

“You brought your stuff?” Rich asked surprised.

“Just the bare necessities.” Kim told him and rubbed the stethoscope between her hands to warm it up before putting it on Fran’s naked belly. She hoped she would get some sounds from the baby. If not they would have to rush Fran to the hospital.

“Kim?” her best friends voice asked nervously after several minutes.

“End of fourth months, right?” Kim asked. Fran only nodded.

“The heartbeat is faster than normal at the beginning of the second trimester. And I would say the baby is kicking and moving rather strong.” Kim informed them.

Fran nodded at her words and winced when another kick happened.

“He or she is upset that mommy is upset.” Kim said softly. Again Fran nodded and tears started to fill her eyes.

“Oh, darling….” Richie pulled her into his arms.

“Fran, you have to calm down.” Kim grabbed her hand and squeezed it softly. She only nodded, but you could tell it wasn’t very easy for her.

“Rich, let’s get her upstairs to your room.”

“Yeah,…come on darling.” He kissed her softly and helped her to her feet.

“Get my bags and bring them to our room, Jon.” Kim told him while walking into the hallway with Fran and Richie. He just nodded.

A couple minutes later they arrived in Fran’s and Richie’s suite. As soon as they had opened the door a smiling Ava run towards them.

“Hi Kim.” She greeted her shortly, before turning her attention to Fran and her father.

“What’s wrong?” she asked worried. Fran was crying and her dad had never looked more concerned in his life.

“Fran got upset and now the baby is very upset too. We need to help her to calm down.” Kim explained gently.

“Oh…what can I do?” The girl asked and watched how her dad helped Fran to get into bed.

“Could you get me a glass of water?” Kim asked.

“Sure.” Ava rushed back to the living room.

“Is it getting better, Fran?” She wanted to know and checked on the heartbeat again.

“I don’t know.” Fran whispered. Kim looked at her. She was all tensed up. All her thoughts were about the baby right now. There was no way she would relax and calm down this way.

“Here’s the water.” Ava handed her the glass.

“Thanks.” Kim looked through her bag and put something into the water. It immediately turned red.

“Drink this.” She handed Fran the glass.

“What is it?” Richie looked at the liquid suspicious.

“Don’t worry. I would never drug your wife.” Kim said smiling.

“Drink it Fran.”

Fran nipped carefully and swallowed. A huge smile spread across her face and she had to giggle.

Ava and Rich looked at her confused. Kim chuckled.

“What is that?” Rich grabbed the glass and took a sip as well. He stared at Kim.

“Fizzy lemonade?” He couldn’t believe it.

“Yep, raspberry flavor. Makes her giggle and laugh every time.”

“That’s all? You ain’t gonna do anything else?” he got a little mad.

“Nope.”

“I call an ambulance.” He grabbed his mobile, but Fran stopped him.

“Here…feel.” She put his hand on her belly.

“No more kicking.” He shook his head and couldn’t believe it.

“How is that possible?”

“Do you want the complicated medical explanation or the short understandable one?” Kim asked grinning and handed a happy Ava a little bag of sherbet as well.

“Give him the short one.” Fran said and took another sip.

“It simply took her mind of the problem and triggered happy childhood memories. It always did.” He looked at Kim in disbelieve.

“So you did that before?”

“Yep, during the pregnancy with Jason. And he turned out just fine.”

Chapter 106

Kim had just woken up from an unsettled sleep when there was a soft knock at her door. She tensed lightly when she walked the short distance to it and opened it cautiously.

“Hi.” Jon looked at her hesitant. She could no longer see anger in his eyes. She could only see worry.

“Can I come in?”

She nodded and stepped aside. Slowly Jon entered the small room and looked around. He couldn’t remember the last time he didn’t spend the night in a suite but in a normal room.

“It sure is small.” He said smiling shortly.

“It has everything you need.” Kim responded and sat down in the only available chair. Jon nodded.

“What do you want, Jon?” her voice was hard. She knew she had to control the situation or she break down and cry in the next second. He sat down on the edge of the bed.

“I…I’m here to apologize. I’m sorry, Kimi. I don’t know what got into me?”

She watched him carefully. It really seemed he came to his senses.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” Jon asked after a couple minutes of silent between them.

“Like what?”

“Like …I don’t know…you are sorry too?” he said a little surprised.

“Jon, I’m not sorry. I meant every word I said. You were a jerk. You hurt me like nobody did before. Your words were even worse than that evening in the parking lot.”

Jon stared at her and she could see he wasn’t getting it.

“I trusted you, Jon. I let you see how vulnerable I can be and you hit me right in the face…figuratively.” She added when he wanted to protest.

“I know you would never physically hurt me.”

“I’m sorry.” He repeated.

“Yeah, I know. But that doesn’t mean everything is fine again and we can continue right where we left. I’m not even sure I’ll stay in London for the next weeks.” Jon looked at her shocked. She snorted.

“You thought, you come here and apologize looking like a beaten school-boy and everything is forgiven, right? This ain’t kindergarten, Jon. This is really life. How in hell should I trust you after all you said?”

“I…I don’t know.” He whispered and hang his head.

Kim sighed and rubbed her forehead. A dull pain was slowly increasing between her eyes again.

“Can I ask you something, Jon.” He looked up and nodded.

“Did I ever gave you any reason to think I would cheat on you?”

He only shook his head no.

“Then why did you assume I jumped into bed with that guy?” the disbelieve could be clearly heard in her voice.

“I…I don’t know.” He stuttered.

“Great. You know what Jon. When you know something, you can come back and we can try to fix our relationship.” She rose and walked towards the door.

“Wait.” He grabbed her wrist when she walked passed him. Her head spun around and she pulled her arm away. A little shocked he let go of her hand.

“This ain’t easy for me Kimi.” He said a little beaten.

“This ain’t easy for you? How do you think it was for me, huh? I can tell you, it sure wasn’t a walk in the park when you accused me of cheating on you and faking a rape attempt!” The anger was flaming up in her again and she had to use all her self-control to not yell at him.

“I…”

“Yeah, I know. Save it.” She sighed and sank back into the chair.

“Kimi, you are young, smart and so beautiful. You have your whole life ahead of you. You are independent, you don’t need a guy by your side and…and when I saw those pics I realized you don’t need me. There is no reason why you are together with me. You could have anyone you want by your site.”

Now it was Kim’s turn to stare at him. Dot was right. He was insecure about their relationship. Or were those the first signs of a midlife-crisis?

“Jon, I do need you and I chose you to be by my side. I don’t want anybody else, and certainly not this old senile grandfather.” She said softly.

“And you know why…because I love you. Because you make me smile…normally.” She paused and whipped the tears away that were running down her cheeks.

“You showed me I can have a life besides my work, maybe even without it. I love you, that’s the only reason I can give you.” She sniffing shrugged her shoulders.

When she looked up she saw Jon was covering his eyes with his right hand, his lips were pressed together and his shoulders were trembling.

He was crying.

Kim slowly walked over to him and kneeled down in front of him. Softly she pulled his right hand away from his eyes. He dropped his head sniffing. She caressed his cheek gently. Hesitantly he looked at her.

Her eyes were shining with tears and there was a small smile on her lips. But what fascinated him the most was the blue of her eyes that were illuminating her still pale face.

“I thought I lost you. I was such an idiot!” he whispered and pulled her close.

“I love you, Kimi. I love you so much.”

Chapter 105

Dot held her quietly and listened while Kim was telling her about the last days events. She really had to control herself to stay calm and not walk back to Jon’s room and beat some sense into him.

His accuse was ridiculous. Kim would never be able to cheat on him and especially not in that condition she was in right now.

“Why? Why is he saying things like this, Dot? You know him so much long. Why is he doing it?” Kim asked her sobbing. Dot sighed and shook her head lightly.

“I don’t know Kim. Maybe he is …insecure.”

“Insecure? Jon?” Kim looked her surprised. Dot snorted lightly.

“Yeah, believe me even Mr. Rockstar has those moments. Maybe those pics triggered something.”

Kim looked at her doubtful.

“That’s no excuse though for his behaviour though.” Dot clarified. Kim only nodded.

“I don’t know what to do. I’m not sure I can stay.” Kim whispered after a couple minutes.

“I can understand that Kim and I will come up with an explanation for the kids if you want…” She had to. Especially Steph and Jesse would freak out when they figured out how their father behaved.

“…but I think you can only solve this whole problem and save your relationship when you stay.” She pointed out carefully. Kim sighed.

“Well, assumed you still want a relationship with him after this.” Kim looked at her sadly and Dot knew she hit a nerve.

“I don’t know. Obviously he doesn’t trust me. How should this work? Besides he really hurt me.” Dot nodded understanding.

“I think I lay down a bit and then see what happens.” Kim slowly got to her feet.

“Thanks, Dot. I really appreciate it. Even though it may be a little weird considering that you were his wife for so long.” She gave her a long hug.

“Nonsense.” Dot paused shortly.

“I’m here if you wanna talk… and Fran, Lexi and Ali should be back by tonight too.” The other women took the kids for a sightseeing tour of London. Dot was really grateful for that. Jon and Kim’s fight was so loud it could be heard in all their rooms.

Dot watched Kim slowly walking towards the elevator and as soon as the doors closed, she turned to walk towards Jon’s room.

She only had to knock once before the door was ripped open by a rather mad Richie. Without saying a word she crossed the room with long resolute strides. She knew drastic measures were necessary to get through to Jon and erase his opinion about this wild scenario.

Jon only had seconds to realize that his ex-wife was in the room before he was pushed backwards and pinned against the wall.

“Dot…what the?”

“Shut up! For once in your life, Jon…. shut up and use your brain!” she hissed at him.

He gulped. He’d only seen her this angry in his life once before. The day he doubted her intentions towards him.

“You find a nice, intelligent and smart girl, who is willing to accept all your stubbornness, your monster ego, your life itself, in which your business and music always come first, who adores our children and would do anything for them and you have the nerve to accuse her on cheating on you?”

“ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?”

“Dot, I…” she held up her hand.

“I’m not finished Jon.” He shut his mouth.

“This woman was nearly raped twice, Jon. She is doubting she can let the man she loves, which for whatever reason is still you, ever trust enough again to be intimate with her and you tell her it’s all just a fucking GAME she’d come up with?”

Jon tried to say something, but the warning Dot’s eyes sent him, made him stop.

“Do you know how it is if a total stranger presses himself to your body?”

“Do you know the panic that rises in you when you realize he won’t take his hands off you even though you told him to stop?”

Jon swallowed hard and shook his head lightly from side to side.

“Do you have any idea at all what kinda fear she felt? For what kinda pain she was preparing for?...No, you don’t.”

“But I tell you this…if it wouldn’t happen to you…to any of you…”

She glanced shortly at the other band members in the room, they were watching the scene in awe and took a step back when Dot turned her head and brought them into her focus.

“…you wouldn’t have the strength to continue with your life. You would not be able to leave the house and you know why…?”

The men shook their heads collectively.

“…because you are weak!”

He was still leaning against the wall, her words echoing in his ears when the door had long closed behind her.

Chapter 104

“Welcome to London, Miss Anderson. How was your flight?” The concierge at the Hotel greeted her with a professional smile.

“It’s was great. Thank you.” Kim tried not to sound as broken-hearted as she felt.

“I see you’ll be staying two weeks with us.”

“Yes, maybe longer. I will notify you in advance.”

“No problem, Miss Anderson. Unfortunately we weren’t able to get you a suite.” He seemed a little uncomfortable. She smiled.

“I know, your colleague already mentioned that on the phone. Don’t worry about it.”

“Well, as soon as one gets free, I’ll inform you.” He tried.

“I don’t think that’s possible. The suites are booked for the next four weeks after all.” Kim said smiling. The concierge paled.

“Oh, you know that…”

“I know. Believe me, I know.” She interrupted him before he could say the words. He eyed her suspiciously for a few second until the light bulb finally got on.

“Course you know, I’m sorry Miss Anderson. Uhm…should I ..uhm…notify him….uhm….that you arrived?”

“No thanks, that’s not necessary. I’ll pay him a visit in a few minutes anyway.”

She walked to the elevator and got to her room on the third floor. It sure was small compared to what she was used to, but she didn’t mind. It’s was clean, had a working bathroom and she could sleep here when Jon would still be in his Jerk-Mode.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She wasn’t really able to cover the dark circles around her eyes and she already lost weight again. She simply wasn’t able to eat or sleep a lot in the last two days. This was not the way she thought her life without work would start.

Slowly she walked down the hall after reaching the top level with some of the suites. She braced herself and knocked at his door. To her surprise not icy blue eyes were greeting her when the door was opened, but concerned brown ones.

“Richie?” she whispered surprised and maybe also a bit relieved.

“Hi Kim. How are you?” he gave her a gentle hug.

“There is absolutely no reasoning with him. We tried.” David whispered into her ear when he greeted her. She smiled thankfully.

“We are outside, if you need us.” Tico told her. She nodded and handed him a folded piece of paper, before closing the door behind the three men.

“What did she gave you, bro?” Rich wondered. Tico opened the paper and read the three numbers.

“She booked her own room! Smart girl!” David said.

Slowly Kim crossed the broad living area and stopped at the door to the bedroom.

“Jon, are you able to talk?” her voice trembled lightly. He looked up from his lap top and let his gaze wander over her. His face was blank. He didn’t show any kinda emotion.

“What should we talk about?” his voice was throaty.

“Well, I don’t know. You accused me of jumping into bed with the first guy I came across as soon as you left the country. I think that’s something we should talk about.”

“I don’t wanna hear about it.” He got up and walked passed her into the living area.

“Well, good! Cause there’s nothing to tell, you Jerk!” she yelled at him. He spun around.

“Jerk? You call me a jerk after spending the night with that old guy?”

“We had dinner, Jon! For Christ sake, when will that get into your stubborn mind…we had dinner and talked about him investing into the hospital!”

“Well, those pics sure show something else!” he yelled.

“I can’t believe you taking those pics for granted? Didn’t you tell me I should never believe anything those magazine write? You know how they work!” she answered right back.

Jon just stared at her. His mind was spinning by now. He had no idea what to think anymore. Those pics were so clear. She was laughing and having a good time, right?

“Jon…I love you. Why should I spend my time with someone else?” she carefully stepped closer to him.

“Oh come on, I know very well how easy it is to give in if an opportunity arise, even though you are in love with someone else.”

“Great! So that’s something I need to take into consideration during the next two years too. When I’m not with you, you might as well fuck someone else!” her voice gained more and more volume.

“Don’t turn things around! I didn’t do anything…” before he could continue she interrupted him.

“I didn’t do anything either!!”  their voice were clearly to hear outside Jon’s room now. The guys looked at each other nervously.

Kim took a deep breath and tried to calm down. They weren’t getting anywhere by yelling at each other. How could she make him see that she was faithful to him.

“Jon…look, do you remember how it was before you left?” he looked at her shortly his teeth firmly pressed together.

“You know how shaken up I was about the incident with Nigel. I wasn’t even able to let you get close to me. I could only let you hold me.” He nodded grim.

“Yeah, nice game you played.”

“What?!”

She took a step back. It was as if he’d hit her right in the face. She was so shocked, she had no idea what she was doing. On unsteady legs she walked backwards. She couldn’t stay in this room with him. She just couldn’t.

“How can you say something like this?” the words stumbled out between her rapid breathing. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. Jon just stared at her.

When she reached the door and managed to get it open four sets of eyes watched her worried.

“Dot.” She whispered surprised.

“What the hell is going on here?” the brunettes voice was very demanding. She took in Kim’s condition and protectively put her arms around her.

“He…I…I…” Kim couldn’t bring any word out.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Kimberly.” Jon fleered.

“Oh, shut up, Jon!” his ex-wife told him before leading a trembling Kim into her suite just two doors down the hall.

Chapter 103

Kim sighed and wrapped the light cardigan she was wearing closer around her body.  It was June and yet she couldn’t get herself to walk around in just a T-shirt, not even at home. It was as if the extra layer of fabric was protecting her.

She took another sip of her coffee and stared out of the window. Last night she had to use all her self-control and go out for a business dinner. And she hated every minute of it.

Her boss asked to talk to a potential sponsor for a new unit at the hospital. It wasn’t the first time she was doing such talks, but that guy last night really got on her nerves. He was constantly hitting on her, trying to touch her hand and making rather inappropriate comments and she was pretty sure it wouldn’t have been so easy to leave after their talk at the restaurant when Lloyd wouldn’t have been there.

That guy really had the nerves and tried to get into the car with her. She couldn’t believe it. He was old enough to be her grandfather. Kim wished she would have been able to get a hold of Jon yesterday, but by the time she made it home he was already on stage in Europe.

She had just sit down on the couch with Kidd and Sambo by her feet when her mobile rang. She smiled and picked it up.

“Hi Jon.”

“Hi. How are you?” He sounded aggravated.

“I’m ok, …” she waited for him to ask why, but the line stayed silent. She could only hear his breathing.

“…how was the show last night?”

“Great.”

Kim started to get irritated. Why was he acting so strangely?

“Jon, is something wrong?”

“Well, I don’t know…you tell me!” His voice was harsh.

“Jon, I have no idea what you are talking about? Went something wrong at the show last night? Or did one of the kids steal your drops again?”

Dorothea and kids finally made it London with a huge delay. While Dot was beat, her children were totally excited, especially Stephanie. Kim was really looking forward to see the kids in two days as well.

“No, nothing is wrong on this side of the pond…” he paused shortly.

“How was your DATE last night?” he spat the words out. Kim frowned.

“Date? I didn’t have a date, Jon. It was a business meeting. You know that. I told you the hospital is trying to get a new sponsor.”

“Well, it seems you had a pretty good time…pretty hot dress for a business meeting.” He was stressing the last two words.

“What? I was wearing my black dress. There’s nothing hot about it.” She stopped.

“How do you know what I was wearing?” she suddenly wondered.

“Well, what do you think…your pics with that old senile guy are all over the papers and internet. You sure had a good time, all smiles for him!”

“Pics? What kinda pics?” She rushed to her lap top and started to search. Easier than she thought she found them. Somehow this vultures were able to get pretty good shots of her. How she had no idea, because the restaurant was on the 25^th floor.

She nearly vomit when she read the text next to the pictures.

“Jon Bon Jovi’s girlfriend is having a good time while he is touring in Europe. Seems she got over the attempted rape rather fast…if there ever was one.”

She stopped herself from continuing to read that crap. But what worried her was the fact that Jon seemed to believe those words.

“Oh, come on Kim. You should know by now that the pap-rats will follow you. You are MY girlfriend after all.”

“I’m Dr. Kimberly Anderson! I don’t define myself over being Jon Bon Jovi’s girlfriend. You better be careful saying such things, Jon.” She couldn’t believe he really said that.

“Well, Doctor Anderson…did you have fun last night? Did he give you all his money…and maybe more?” the sarcasm was dripping heavily from Jon’s voice. Tears started to swell up in her eyes.

“For your information, the evening was terrible. That bastard had nothing better to do than hit on me all night and if Lloyd wouldn’t have been there, I would have probably knock him out to get home.”

“Ah, don’t be so dramatic.” She shook her head in disbelieve.

“Jon, why are you doing this? Why do you think I would go home with somebody else? I had to really pull it together to go to this meeting at all. You know I’m not able to let anybody come close to me…even we didn’t…”

“You know what, save it. I don’t wanna hear it. Are you still coming to London?” he interrupted her

“Do you still want me to come?” she could barely get the words out.

“Sure. The kids can’t wait to see you.”

“Well, we don’t wanna disappoint them, right?” she was shaking from anger, frustration and sadness.

“See you then. Bye.” Before she could say anything the line was dead.

“Bye, Jon.” She whispered before erupting in tears. Sobbing she lay on her couch. She could feel Sambo nudging her nervously. When she turned to face him he carefully licked the salty tears from her cheeks. She smiled sadly and wrapped her arms around him.

Should she really fly to London? Should she really deal with him? What if they had a huge fight there? What if he wouldn’t wanna see her?

Suddenly she sat up and shook her head about her own stupidness. She sure could take care of herself in London. She didn’t need him. Kim decided she would go to London, but there were certain pre-cautions she would take.