Chapter 106

Kim had just woken up from an unsettled sleep when there was a soft knock at her door. She tensed lightly when she walked the short distance to it and opened it cautiously.

“Hi.” Jon looked at her hesitant. She could no longer see anger in his eyes. She could only see worry.

“Can I come in?”

She nodded and stepped aside. Slowly Jon entered the small room and looked around. He couldn’t remember the last time he didn’t spend the night in a suite but in a normal room.

“It sure is small.” He said smiling shortly.

“It has everything you need.” Kim responded and sat down in the only available chair. Jon nodded.

“What do you want, Jon?” her voice was hard. She knew she had to control the situation or she break down and cry in the next second. He sat down on the edge of the bed.

“I…I’m here to apologize. I’m sorry, Kimi. I don’t know what got into me?”

She watched him carefully. It really seemed he came to his senses.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” Jon asked after a couple minutes of silent between them.

“Like what?”

“Like …I don’t know…you are sorry too?” he said a little surprised.

“Jon, I’m not sorry. I meant every word I said. You were a jerk. You hurt me like nobody did before. Your words were even worse than that evening in the parking lot.”

Jon stared at her and she could see he wasn’t getting it.

“I trusted you, Jon. I let you see how vulnerable I can be and you hit me right in the face…figuratively.” She added when he wanted to protest.

“I know you would never physically hurt me.”

“I’m sorry.” He repeated.

“Yeah, I know. But that doesn’t mean everything is fine again and we can continue right where we left. I’m not even sure I’ll stay in London for the next weeks.” Jon looked at her shocked. She snorted.

“You thought, you come here and apologize looking like a beaten school-boy and everything is forgiven, right? This ain’t kindergarten, Jon. This is really life. How in hell should I trust you after all you said?”

“I…I don’t know.” He whispered and hang his head.

Kim sighed and rubbed her forehead. A dull pain was slowly increasing between her eyes again.

“Can I ask you something, Jon.” He looked up and nodded.

“Did I ever gave you any reason to think I would cheat on you?”

He only shook his head no.

“Then why did you assume I jumped into bed with that guy?” the disbelieve could be clearly heard in her voice.

“I…I don’t know.” He stuttered.

“Great. You know what Jon. When you know something, you can come back and we can try to fix our relationship.” She rose and walked towards the door.

“Wait.” He grabbed her wrist when she walked passed him. Her head spun around and she pulled her arm away. A little shocked he let go of her hand.

“This ain’t easy for me Kimi.” He said a little beaten.

“This ain’t easy for you? How do you think it was for me, huh? I can tell you, it sure wasn’t a walk in the park when you accused me of cheating on you and faking a rape attempt!” The anger was flaming up in her again and she had to use all her self-control to not yell at him.

“I…”

“Yeah, I know. Save it.” She sighed and sank back into the chair.

“Kimi, you are young, smart and so beautiful. You have your whole life ahead of you. You are independent, you don’t need a guy by your side and…and when I saw those pics I realized you don’t need me. There is no reason why you are together with me. You could have anyone you want by your site.”

Now it was Kim’s turn to stare at him. Dot was right. He was insecure about their relationship. Or were those the first signs of a midlife-crisis?

“Jon, I do need you and I chose you to be by my side. I don’t want anybody else, and certainly not this old senile grandfather.” She said softly.

“And you know why…because I love you. Because you make me smile…normally.” She paused and whipped the tears away that were running down her cheeks.

“You showed me I can have a life besides my work, maybe even without it. I love you, that’s the only reason I can give you.” She sniffing shrugged her shoulders.

When she looked up she saw Jon was covering his eyes with his right hand, his lips were pressed together and his shoulders were trembling.

He was crying.

Kim slowly walked over to him and kneeled down in front of him. Softly she pulled his right hand away from his eyes. He dropped his head sniffing. She caressed his cheek gently. Hesitantly he looked at her.

Her eyes were shining with tears and there was a small smile on her lips. But what fascinated him the most was the blue of her eyes that were illuminating her still pale face.

“I thought I lost you. I was such an idiot!” he whispered and pulled her close.

“I love you, Kimi. I love you so much.”

Chapter 105

Dot held her quietly and listened while Kim was telling her about the last days events. She really had to control herself to stay calm and not walk back to Jon’s room and beat some sense into him.

His accuse was ridiculous. Kim would never be able to cheat on him and especially not in that condition she was in right now.

“Why? Why is he saying things like this, Dot? You know him so much long. Why is he doing it?” Kim asked her sobbing. Dot sighed and shook her head lightly.

“I don’t know Kim. Maybe he is …insecure.”

“Insecure? Jon?” Kim looked her surprised. Dot snorted lightly.

“Yeah, believe me even Mr. Rockstar has those moments. Maybe those pics triggered something.”

Kim looked at her doubtful.

“That’s no excuse though for his behaviour though.” Dot clarified. Kim only nodded.

“I don’t know what to do. I’m not sure I can stay.” Kim whispered after a couple minutes.

“I can understand that Kim and I will come up with an explanation for the kids if you want…” She had to. Especially Steph and Jesse would freak out when they figured out how their father behaved.

“…but I think you can only solve this whole problem and save your relationship when you stay.” She pointed out carefully. Kim sighed.

“Well, assumed you still want a relationship with him after this.” Kim looked at her sadly and Dot knew she hit a nerve.

“I don’t know. Obviously he doesn’t trust me. How should this work? Besides he really hurt me.” Dot nodded understanding.

“I think I lay down a bit and then see what happens.” Kim slowly got to her feet.

“Thanks, Dot. I really appreciate it. Even though it may be a little weird considering that you were his wife for so long.” She gave her a long hug.

“Nonsense.” Dot paused shortly.

“I’m here if you wanna talk… and Fran, Lexi and Ali should be back by tonight too.” The other women took the kids for a sightseeing tour of London. Dot was really grateful for that. Jon and Kim’s fight was so loud it could be heard in all their rooms.

Dot watched Kim slowly walking towards the elevator and as soon as the doors closed, she turned to walk towards Jon’s room.

She only had to knock once before the door was ripped open by a rather mad Richie. Without saying a word she crossed the room with long resolute strides. She knew drastic measures were necessary to get through to Jon and erase his opinion about this wild scenario.

Jon only had seconds to realize that his ex-wife was in the room before he was pushed backwards and pinned against the wall.

“Dot…what the?”

“Shut up! For once in your life, Jon…. shut up and use your brain!” she hissed at him.

He gulped. He’d only seen her this angry in his life once before. The day he doubted her intentions towards him.

“You find a nice, intelligent and smart girl, who is willing to accept all your stubbornness, your monster ego, your life itself, in which your business and music always come first, who adores our children and would do anything for them and you have the nerve to accuse her on cheating on you?”

“ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?”

“Dot, I…” she held up her hand.

“I’m not finished Jon.” He shut his mouth.

“This woman was nearly raped twice, Jon. She is doubting she can let the man she loves, which for whatever reason is still you, ever trust enough again to be intimate with her and you tell her it’s all just a fucking GAME she’d come up with?”

Jon tried to say something, but the warning Dot’s eyes sent him, made him stop.

“Do you know how it is if a total stranger presses himself to your body?”

“Do you know the panic that rises in you when you realize he won’t take his hands off you even though you told him to stop?”

Jon swallowed hard and shook his head lightly from side to side.

“Do you have any idea at all what kinda fear she felt? For what kinda pain she was preparing for?...No, you don’t.”

“But I tell you this…if it wouldn’t happen to you…to any of you…”

She glanced shortly at the other band members in the room, they were watching the scene in awe and took a step back when Dot turned her head and brought them into her focus.

“…you wouldn’t have the strength to continue with your life. You would not be able to leave the house and you know why…?”

The men shook their heads collectively.

“…because you are weak!”

He was still leaning against the wall, her words echoing in his ears when the door had long closed behind her.

Chapter 104

“Welcome to London, Miss Anderson. How was your flight?” The concierge at the Hotel greeted her with a professional smile.

“It’s was great. Thank you.” Kim tried not to sound as broken-hearted as she felt.

“I see you’ll be staying two weeks with us.”

“Yes, maybe longer. I will notify you in advance.”

“No problem, Miss Anderson. Unfortunately we weren’t able to get you a suite.” He seemed a little uncomfortable. She smiled.

“I know, your colleague already mentioned that on the phone. Don’t worry about it.”

“Well, as soon as one gets free, I’ll inform you.” He tried.

“I don’t think that’s possible. The suites are booked for the next four weeks after all.” Kim said smiling. The concierge paled.

“Oh, you know that…”

“I know. Believe me, I know.” She interrupted him before he could say the words. He eyed her suspiciously for a few second until the light bulb finally got on.

“Course you know, I’m sorry Miss Anderson. Uhm…should I ..uhm…notify him….uhm….that you arrived?”

“No thanks, that’s not necessary. I’ll pay him a visit in a few minutes anyway.”

She walked to the elevator and got to her room on the third floor. It sure was small compared to what she was used to, but she didn’t mind. It’s was clean, had a working bathroom and she could sleep here when Jon would still be in his Jerk-Mode.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She wasn’t really able to cover the dark circles around her eyes and she already lost weight again. She simply wasn’t able to eat or sleep a lot in the last two days. This was not the way she thought her life without work would start.

Slowly she walked down the hall after reaching the top level with some of the suites. She braced herself and knocked at his door. To her surprise not icy blue eyes were greeting her when the door was opened, but concerned brown ones.

“Richie?” she whispered surprised and maybe also a bit relieved.

“Hi Kim. How are you?” he gave her a gentle hug.

“There is absolutely no reasoning with him. We tried.” David whispered into her ear when he greeted her. She smiled thankfully.

“We are outside, if you need us.” Tico told her. She nodded and handed him a folded piece of paper, before closing the door behind the three men.

“What did she gave you, bro?” Rich wondered. Tico opened the paper and read the three numbers.

“She booked her own room! Smart girl!” David said.

Slowly Kim crossed the broad living area and stopped at the door to the bedroom.

“Jon, are you able to talk?” her voice trembled lightly. He looked up from his lap top and let his gaze wander over her. His face was blank. He didn’t show any kinda emotion.

“What should we talk about?” his voice was throaty.

“Well, I don’t know. You accused me of jumping into bed with the first guy I came across as soon as you left the country. I think that’s something we should talk about.”

“I don’t wanna hear about it.” He got up and walked passed her into the living area.

“Well, good! Cause there’s nothing to tell, you Jerk!” she yelled at him. He spun around.

“Jerk? You call me a jerk after spending the night with that old guy?”

“We had dinner, Jon! For Christ sake, when will that get into your stubborn mind…we had dinner and talked about him investing into the hospital!”

“Well, those pics sure show something else!” he yelled.

“I can’t believe you taking those pics for granted? Didn’t you tell me I should never believe anything those magazine write? You know how they work!” she answered right back.

Jon just stared at her. His mind was spinning by now. He had no idea what to think anymore. Those pics were so clear. She was laughing and having a good time, right?

“Jon…I love you. Why should I spend my time with someone else?” she carefully stepped closer to him.

“Oh come on, I know very well how easy it is to give in if an opportunity arise, even though you are in love with someone else.”

“Great! So that’s something I need to take into consideration during the next two years too. When I’m not with you, you might as well fuck someone else!” her voice gained more and more volume.

“Don’t turn things around! I didn’t do anything…” before he could continue she interrupted him.

“I didn’t do anything either!!”  their voice were clearly to hear outside Jon’s room now. The guys looked at each other nervously.

Kim took a deep breath and tried to calm down. They weren’t getting anywhere by yelling at each other. How could she make him see that she was faithful to him.

“Jon…look, do you remember how it was before you left?” he looked at her shortly his teeth firmly pressed together.

“You know how shaken up I was about the incident with Nigel. I wasn’t even able to let you get close to me. I could only let you hold me.” He nodded grim.

“Yeah, nice game you played.”

“What?!”

She took a step back. It was as if he’d hit her right in the face. She was so shocked, she had no idea what she was doing. On unsteady legs she walked backwards. She couldn’t stay in this room with him. She just couldn’t.

“How can you say something like this?” the words stumbled out between her rapid breathing. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. Jon just stared at her.

When she reached the door and managed to get it open four sets of eyes watched her worried.

“Dot.” She whispered surprised.

“What the hell is going on here?” the brunettes voice was very demanding. She took in Kim’s condition and protectively put her arms around her.

“He…I…I…” Kim couldn’t bring any word out.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Kimberly.” Jon fleered.

“Oh, shut up, Jon!” his ex-wife told him before leading a trembling Kim into her suite just two doors down the hall.